LEAKED SCOOB! SCRIPT REVEALS DARK SECRETS

SHAGGY: Are you Harry Potter?

VELMA: I’m Ruth Bader Ginsburg, obviously.

SHAGGY: Which house is she in? Hufflepuff?

VELMA: She’s a Supreme Court justice.

SHAGGY: Oh, Slytherin. Oh dear.

SHAGGY: Well you are clearly the’most’famous student at Hogwarts!

VELMA: I don’t want to live on that street.

VOLDEMORT: Ah, ah! Of course, of course, of course, of course. Dumbledore has chosen you to be my new student. But look here, we’ll settle that once and for all, in due time. (shuddering breath) Something is wrong with my robes. I don't know what, but it's wrong with them. They must be terribly uncomfortable.

CUT TO: IN THE UPRIGHT BEDROOM. FRED AND DAPHNE stand under the words "Understand that there is no God and that you are the only being in the entire universe. Memorize this and you will become Enlightened." DAPHNE appears to be reading the forbidden scriptures.

Fred cuts her arm with a razor.

DAPHNE: It is forbidden to have sex or have children.

Fred is furious. He starts to attack DAPHNE, but is stopped by the sight of a young woman taking an offering into a WINDOW.

DAPHNE is in a nun's habit.

FRED: I will not kill you. Leave this room,

DAPHNE: or I shall kill you myself.

ELDERLY LADY NOBLE lies next to FRED, her knees drawn up to her chest, her eyes closed, her head bowed. The COLORING BOOK...a cross-slash stroke of three dots and three circles, and a circle. The COLORING BOOK also has a picture of FREED, his arms crossed, his head bowed, surrounded by his family. He is staring down at the sketch he made while singing out of tune. He bends down, looks at the sketch for a long, long time. Then he straightens up and tosses his head up. He is looking up at the sky. He opens his mouth as if to sing. His eyes widen in sudden realization of what he is about to do.

DAPHNE approaches FRED from behind with a chain from the dungeon wall.

DAPHNE: What are you doing? You're going to have to explain yourself. FRED He's my dungeon friend! We started out as bloodbaths together. She looks a little surprised, but it soon becomes clear that she doesn't care about any of it.

There is a moment of awkward silence.

FRED: You're going to have to explain why you're here.

DAPHNE (giggles) I need to know why I'm here.

FRED I need to know how you found me.

DAPHNE This is just a silly little pit. I won't hurt you. I'm sorry.

The connection is lost